2010 - Best Year Ever?

I cannot believe that 2010 is almost over.  It really did fly by!  My life has changed so much in the past year.  I like to say I have "evolved" - no I am not a meditator, karma, yoga person - but I do feel like I am a new person in a certain sense.

If I truly look back on the past few years of my life, I can say that I wasn't as happy as I let on.  My life was not miserable at all, but it wasn't as fulfilling and happy as it could have been.  I have always been an optimist, someone who sees the glass half full, who tries to see the best in people.  Yes, I totally have my flaws - I do not have a lot of mercy, think I know everything and am a control freak (and those are just a few off the top of my head - there are many, many more).  But, as I look back, I was just going through life like a zombie, it was all a routine to me.  Go to work, come home, watch tv, go visit my family, hang with friends sometimes and go to church....and repeat...over and over again.  I feel that life continued on and I stood still.  I had become complacent in my life.

You see all of my friends had gotten married, were beginning to have families of their own and I was the single one left.  Yes, they included me but I was still the odd wo-man out.  Its wonderful hearing about their life, but I couldn't relate and didn't have a lot to contribute to the conversations because my life was on repeat - nothing was new with me.  I cannot tell you how many times people asked, "what's new with you?" and all I could say was, "nothing - just work and church".  Don't get me wrong, I was not bitter about their life, envious of it sometimes - yes, I will confess that, but never bitter for their happiness.  I LOVED hearing about their lives and so thankful to be a part of their lives - I just wanted my story too.

I knew it was time for a change.  I knew it would be difficult to make that change.  It would mean giving up dreams, giving up a place where I have invested years of my life into others, and yes giving up seeing my friends and family on a weekly basis.  But, I knew that the Lord was calling me away - I just had to stop stalling and do it.  So, I put my big girl pants on and visited another church.  I am so thankful for my friend, Karen.  The Lord brought us into each others lives when we both needed it the most.  She was mourning the loss of a friendship and I needed to step out and begin to live again.

I started attending GFBC, met a lot of new people, made a lot of friendships and began living again.  Not only in my life, but in my walk with the Lord.  I have said it on here many times it is so easy to become complacent in your walk with Christ.  I have done that many many times.  Put on a face for the church and at work and act like I have it all together.  When in reality, I did not (and still fail miserably at it everyday).

I can honestly say, I am happier now than I have been in years.  Everyday is something new.  I feel like I have a new lease on life.  I am not coming home and sitting in front of the tv every night, being sucked into a world of fantasy and living through fictional or reality lives.  I am out LIVING my life - the life the Lord has called me to.  When people ask me, "what's new with you", I can give them an answer, I can talk about it for hours.  I can share about new friendships, relationships that I am building and most importantly what the Lord has done for me the past year.  People have come to me and said - "you have a glow about you".  Now, I do not know about that - but maybe I do.  I will admit I am a social butterfly now and I am loving every minute of it!  Yes, I have lost touch with some of the old relationships and that makes me sad, but maybe they were in my life for just that season and I do pray that we'll see each other more in the years ahead.  And I have strengthened some relationships as well - maybe I needed to get moving in my life for me to realize how much they meant to me.  

I have no clue why I just posted this - I had started this post to be about summer 2010 and fun photos - but it turned into this deep introspect of the year 2010.  I'll post fun pics of summer 2010 next time.  Maybe I just needed to confess or maybe someone reading this feels the same way I did and needs to make a change and live again.  If that's the case - do it...it will hurt for a short time, but oh how sweet the rewards are when you are following hard after the life that Christ has set before us.